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29

Feb

vicemag:

This Week in Drake
Earlier this afternoon I had the idea of starting a new tumblr column called “This Week in Drake”. I asked if you thought that was a good idea, and you made your opinions very clear. “No,” you said, adding, “no,” “uh, no,” “nope,” “die,” “are you guys putting different things in drake then?” and “fuck no.” To which I’d respond: YOLO. And so, without further ado, here’s This Week in Drake:
DMX is back and to celebrate that fact he’s doing interviews. One of his talking points is Drake, whose haircut he doesn’t like. This is only like a 3/10 on the DMX outrageousness scale (remember when he was like “What the fuck is a Barack?”) but it’s still pretty funny. (Full disclosure: Once my friends told me a story about being 14 and smoking pot in the woods in rural Pennsylvania and then having DMX & his crew appear out of nowhere on ATVs. I don’t remember the exact details can you imagine how insane that would be?)
 Paris Hilton put out a new song that can only be described as post-Drake. I know this sounds ridiculous and maybe you think I’m doing that thing where you take something lowbrow and act like its a serious work of art, so let me make clear: Hilton’s song doesn’t approach Drake’s in terms of quality. But thematically it’s all there: Hilton’s “Drunk Text,” with its repeated insistence that “It was just a drunk text,” would make a great b-side to “Marvin’s Room,” a song built around a voicemail asking “Are you drunk right now?” Both songs talk about easy, meaningless sex in a way that suggests that it’s simultaneously emotionally unsatisfying and also something the artists are going to keep doing, thus perfectly encapsulating the best and worst effects of technology. 

Drake went to the gym, played some concerts, and posed like he was peeing.
Major Label A&R execs apparently met recently to be like, “Hey, how can we make a video that Hanson is super psyched about… Oh and Dan Bejar, Bill Callahan, and puppies are all busy the day we film.” They came up with Waka Flocka’s new video for “Round of Applause,” which features the world’s cuddliest rapper (Waka) and Toronto’s very own, surrounded by ass ass ass ass. Drake even does a little bit of acting in the clip*, playing some sort of crime boss in an ill-advised semi-plot about Waka Flocka trying to save a girl from herself. Anyway, the video’s cool. 
*Side note: A lot of people seem to think I’m only interested in Drake because he played a boy in a wheelchair in a Canadian soap opera for teenagers. Which, no, sorry, I’ve never even really seen that show. (Are you guys all Canadian or something?) I’m interested in Drake because he’s a weirdo who makes weird decisions that seem terrible on paper (e.g. centering a song around a voicemail from an ex-girlfriend) and they totally work. It’s not ironic; I’m not one of those suburban kids wearing a Tupac “Thug Life” shirt. I just think Drake is a talented, morose dude with confidence issues, and that’s probably my favorite type of singer. 
—Hanson O’Haver

vicemag:

This Week in Drake

Earlier this afternoon I had the idea of starting a new tumblr column called “This Week in Drake”. I asked if you thought that was a good idea, and you made your opinions very clear. “No,” you said, adding, “no,” “uh, no,” “nope,” “die,” “are you guys putting different things in drake then?” and “fuck no.” To which I’d respond: YOLO. And so, without further ado, here’s This Week in Drake:

  • DMX is back and to celebrate that fact he’s doing interviews. One of his talking points is Drake, whose haircut he doesn’t like. This is only like a 3/10 on the DMX outrageousness scale (remember when he was like “What the fuck is a Barack?”) but it’s still pretty funny. (Full disclosure: Once my friends told me a story about being 14 and smoking pot in the woods in rural Pennsylvania and then having DMX & his crew appear out of nowhere on ATVs. I don’t remember the exact details can you imagine how insane that would be?)
  •  Paris Hilton put out a new song that can only be described as post-Drake. I know this sounds ridiculous and maybe you think I’m doing that thing where you take something lowbrow and act like its a serious work of art, so let me make clear: Hilton’s song doesn’t approach Drake’s in terms of quality. But thematically it’s all there: Hilton’s “Drunk Text,” with its repeated insistence that “It was just a drunk text,” would make a great b-side to “Marvin’s Room,” a song built around a voicemail asking “Are you drunk right now?” Both songs talk about easy, meaningless sex in a way that suggests that it’s simultaneously emotionally unsatisfying and also something the artists are going to keep doing, thus perfectly encapsulating the best and worst effects of technology. 

  • Drake went to the gym, played some concerts, and posed like he was peeing.
  • Major Label A&R execs apparently met recently to be like, “Hey, how can we make a video that Hanson is super psyched about… Oh and Dan Bejar, Bill Callahan, and puppies are all busy the day we film.” They came up with Waka Flocka’s new video for “Round of Applause,” which features the world’s cuddliest rapper (Waka) and Toronto’s very own, surrounded by ass ass ass ass. Drake even does a little bit of acting in the clip*, playing some sort of crime boss in an ill-advised semi-plot about Waka Flocka trying to save a girl from herself. Anyway, the video’s cool. 

*Side note: A lot of people seem to think I’m only interested in Drake because he played a boy in a wheelchair in a Canadian soap opera for teenagers. Which, no, sorry, I’ve never even really seen that show. (Are you guys all Canadian or something?) I’m interested in Drake because he’s a weirdo who makes weird decisions that seem terrible on paper (e.g. centering a song around a voicemail from an ex-girlfriend) and they totally work. It’s not ironic; I’m not one of those suburban kids wearing a Tupac “Thug Life” shirt. I just think Drake is a talented, morose dude with confidence issues, and that’s probably my favorite type of singer. 

Hanson O’Haver

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  7. nobulbsinthisflat reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    THIS WEEK IN DRAKE (VIA vicemag)
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  10. devera reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    into it
  11. jukelustdeathcult said: Didn’t read.
  12. velveteendream reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    this is so great
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  14. jpeaaa reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    READ THIS WHOLE THING YES THE WHOLE THING THANK YOU YOU’RE WELCOME
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  16. killemwithcoffee reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    HAHAHAHAHA I actually laughed out loud at this
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